Relationship Equity

 This Valentine’s Day Celebrate Fairness and Equality in your Relationship.

Fairness is the willingness to offer dignity to others. The dignity of being seen and heard and having a chance to contribute. And equality doesn’t mean equal. Equality means equality of access, the opportunity to do my best without being disqualified for irrelevant reasons. In relationships, this doesn’t mean chores are split right down the middle. Usually, happy and equal couples realize what works best is contributing in areas where your strengths flourish. That means the one that likes to geek out with math will most likely do the taxes and the finances.

What does this look like in your relationship, specifically?

Both person’s needs are important, not just one person’s.

One person shouldn’t be getting all their needs met, while the other sacrifices. There will be times when the sacrifices will need to be one-sided. For example, when you need to provide emotional support when the other is hurting, but for most days, there needs to be consideration happening both ways.

Curiosity of your partner’s world.

To be selfless, we can’t just see things in our narrow perspectives. We can’t make a judgment on our partner’s feelings until we’ve tried to understand where they’re coming from. What are they feeling? Why do they see this situation in that way?

The effort and work in the relationship are done by both, not one.

One person shouldn’t carry the burden or do most of the load. It’s not good for the person that is hoping their unreserved devotion will one day pay off and it’s equally not good for the person that is taking an easy ride because they’ll miss out on what true intimacy is and might even feel a bit lonely.

You both express love and affection (in your own way)

It’s helpful to know that having both masculine and feminine traits make you a well-rounded person. Have the confidence to take initiative and express choice on the things you need. Feel comfortable bonding with another person and sharing with them your affection in your own style.